Woman are aroused in different ways to men, and it can take time to truly know how your partner wants to be touched and stimulated, especially at different times of the menstrual cycle. Massage deepens your understanding of your partner’s sensual responses, helping you to appreciate what she really needs and desires – and when.
Encouraging her sensuality
Men are often mesmerized by, and sometimes in awe of, a woman’s feminine sensuality and sexual power. These intoxicating qualities, combined with a man’s passion, provide great potential for erotic fireworks. Woman’s hormonal cycle, however, are not always easy to understand, and their partners often need to show patience and care in order to encourage female sensuality to come to the fore and be fully and unselfconsciously expressed.
The menstrual cycle establishes a rhythm that underlies a woman’s entire existence. Each month, end over the course of her life, she experiences the ebb and flow of fluctuating hormone levels and associated physical and mood changes. One moment she might feel sensual and erotic, the next markedly less so. Her emotions may alter, and her skin can feel more sensitive at certain times of the cycle. A touch that was well received last week may not register the next, or may even irritate. The ability to recognise this and bring this knowledge to your massage will deepen your connection with your partner.
In order to access her deep sensuality, a woman must also feel deeply. For this reason, it’s important to make sure that your partner feels wholly validated, valued, and loved if you want to enhance her enjoyment of your erotic massage. When she feels secure, she can truly open herself up to your massage. There are subtle gestures you can use to reinforce her sense of being adored on every level. One is to place a hand just above her breasts. Touching her here, where her heart chakra (an energy vortex) lies, will help her to connect the fillings you are generating in the erogenous areas of her body with her heart. It is also a way of physically affirming that you acknowledge and appreciate what she feels in her heart.
Female erogenous areas
Men and woman share many erogenous zones, but here are a few to focus on to arouse and delight your female partner:
Neck: Stroking and nibbling this area, particularly the sides of the neck, feels very erotic for your partner.
Lips: This highly sensitive area will respond well to being stroked gently with the fingertips and kissed in a variety of different ways.
Waist: Try kneading this sensitive, erogenous area with two hands or stroke with your fingertips.
Arms: Using the tips of your fingers, gently stroke the insides of the lower arms for a delicious sensation.
Hands: Lightly stroke the palms, then suck the fingertips gently for an erotic charge.
Breasts: Start by touching and caressing the entire highly sensitive breast area. When she is aroused, move to give more attention to the nipples.
Lower belly: Massage this erogenous area, including the pubic hairline, to arouse her sexual appetite.
Caressing her erogenous zones
This massage helps you discover your partner’s erogenous zones through your caresses. Each time you try it, she will become more sensitive to your touch and discover new erogenous responses. You get to enjoy close contact with her sensual curves and her responses to your moves.
1. Ask your partner to lie comfortably. Both of you should close your eyes. Rest your hands on your belly and tune into her breathing, so that you are breathing in and out together.
2. Use one hand to caress the curves of your partner’s body. You can allow yourself to become aroused as you stroke, but stay with your partner and don’t give in to your desire to lead her towards sex. Keep your own breathing slow and listen carefully to sounds that indicate her pleasure and arousal.
3. When you sense that you are stroking an erogenous area, stop your hand moving for a moment and feel her energy rising. Try to become aware of the subtle vibration there. Use two fingers to trace lines over the erogenous zone.
4. Breathe warm air onto the erogenous area. Use your mouth to slowly and erotically lick and kiss the area. Then allow your hand to continue on its exploratory journey, finding another erogenous zone to caress and excite.
Ultimate erotic massage by Kavida Rei (Dorling Kindersley Limited 2010)